Invisible
by BreetanyaViolet
Summary: Neville is invisible. But because he is invisible he knows everyone else's secrets. But no one knows his. WARNING: No squeemish people.


Invisible  
  
AN:  
  
I don't own Harry Potter,  
  
My friends and I had a challenge going on between us, we each picked a song and did a different angst fic... and we raced one another to see who got done first... HEY! at least we didn't write one of the weird things we do at midnight when we are all online!  
  
START TIME: 12:50am  
  
No one ever notices me. I'm pratically invisible. I admit it, I'm no great scholar like Hermione Granger, nor am I as brave as Harry Potter. Heck, I'm pratically a squib, and I know half the school thinks I don't belong here. I have no best friends, and most of the time my only companion is my toad. And even HE tries to run away from me. But I am here. And I do have a temper. If you know which buttons to push.  
  
Hello I'm here to invite you  
  
To things you cannot feel  
  
and if you push me too far  
  
You might believe I'm real  
  
I see almost everything in this school, but I'm not sure how Dumbledore does when he's so visible to everyone. I saw how Draco Malfoy cursed Pansy Parkison for flinching when he reached toward her. I don't know exactly what it was called, but it was a horrible curse. She squirmed horribly and cried. I think my gram told me about that curse. How technically it was legal, but should be classified an unforgivable. It acts just like a demontor does, taking away all of your happy memories, leaving only the bad. And it lasted for a long while. A half an hour.   
  
I also saw how Roger Davies acted around his girlfriend. He held her to him possessivly even though she squirmed in his grip. And he doesn't let anyone talk. No one. He cursed Terry Boot when he tried to ask her for help with his homework.   
  
But no one ever sees me. I stay in the shadows and watch everyone else live. I can do whatever I want and my gram doesn't see. I save momentos from my parents. My mother has a habit of giving me bubblegum wrappers. I have a whole cupboard of them. My dad is worse off than my mum. He only stares at the ceiling, or wall, or whatever he is facing.   
  
Teeth scrape beneath the sweater  
  
To when you hate and steal  
  
Or do you think it better  
  
To obsess and not reveal  
  
I can see everyone's secret, and I can see how it shapes them. No one knows my secret. And although some may think they do they don't. They think my secret is of my parents. Well, that is a secret, but its not the one that effects me everyday. If anyone would bother to even see my secret they could. But I would lie. They wouldn't find out. Everyone is happier when they are naive. This too I've learned by being invisible.  
  
I know your secret  
  
It scrapes you way down  
  
Everything was clean  
  
Now everything's brown  
  
Lavender Brown is a belimic. I tried to confront her, but she said she just wasn't feeling well. I realized I was defeated and sank into my own secret to release some of the pain I almost always feel.  
  
Seamus is gay. He doesn't want to tell his parents. He's currently going steady with Justin Finch-Fletchy. No one knows this besides them. And me of course. The invisible one. I talked to Seamus about it. He denied it. He said that he had his eyes on Lavender and that was why he was with no one at the moment. Evidently he didn't realize that I could see them constantly brushing up against each other and blushing.  
  
I again retreated into my secret to help me understand that I was invisible. I couldn't change anything. So I watched as I came closer to true invisiblity.  
  
Don't try to hide it  
  
Know you cannot feel  
  
What you are is something  
  
that I won't reveal  
  
You are probably wondering what my secret is. My secret is a desire everyone has once in a while. Though no one would act upon it. Its 'vulger' and 'repulsive' to many. To me, its a beautiful release, when I can finally see that I am indeed coming closer to invisibilty.  
  
Hello I'm here to invite you  
  
To things you cannot feel  
  
and if you fall apart  
  
You'll pretend I'm not real  
  
Harry tries to pretend he's not famous. But everyone knows he is. He knows he is and he's just fooling himself into thinking he's normal. He gets normal grades, has normal friends, and does normal things. All of these are a mask. I don't know exactly what his secrets are. There are too many of them, one upon the other to define one. Something about an order whispered here, Snuffles there, and Padfoot there. He disappears every year near the end of school and comes back battered and bruised. He always dreads leaving the school though, no matter what happens at the end of the year. His secrets are too much for even Dumbledore to decipher them all.  
  
Then again, a person like me, who is invisible but pretends to be visible most of the time wouldn't know. The only time I am me, invisible, is when I take steps towards invisiblity.  
  
You can't erase what you are  
  
So don't even try  
  
and how can I be truthful  
  
When everything I am is a lie  
  
How do I strive for invisibility you ask? Why that's simple. I make myself disapear. After all. If you are no there, you cannot be seen. But when its through, I'm brown, not invisible. At least until I wash the brown off. Then I'm back to being Neville Longbottom, the ignored boy with brown lines on him.  
  
I know your secret  
  
It scrapes you way down  
  
Everything came clean  
  
Now everything's brown  
  
Maybe one day I'll show someone, maybe one day they will join me. After all, becoming invisible is like a high no one else but me knows. Watching your blood flow out of you as you dig the knife in deeper to your skin. But for now, I'll wear my robes dried blood alone. Hopefully no one finds out before I show them myself.  
  
Don't try to hide it  
  
When you dig to feel  
  
When it falls apart  
  
I hope I won't reveal  
  
But I know I'm invisible, even if I'm visible. The blood tells me so. The blood tells me that everyone feels like this once in a while... The blood tells me the truth.... The blood tells me what is real and what is not.  
  
Hello, remember  
  
Hello, remember  
  
Hello, remember  
  
Hello  
  
I'm real real real  
  
You think I'm not real  
  
STOP TIME: 1:35am  
  
AN:  
  
REVIEW! FLAME! CRITIZE I DON'T CARE!  
  
PS Here are the addies for Zenya's, BadBoyLover's, and Virtie's angst fics which were written at the same time as mine.  
  
BBL's: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1452139  
  
Zenya's: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1452621  
  
Virtie's: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1452167 


End file.
